(The following was written while interacting with ideas from Bridges Out of Poverty)
Mental models are internal pictures of how the world works. In actuality they are a person’s interpretation of his or her surroundings. These mental models are developed over a lifetime of experience and varieties of other inputs. Most of us are not even aware that we are operating by these theories of how life happens, but we do, and they impact many things, including our ability to learn new ideas and ways, and our interpreting the life experiences of others.
Let’s consider an example. A few years ago, I had mentored a middle school boy for a number of months when the teacher of his self-contained class asked me if I would do character education with the class for one hour each week. Without hesitation I said yes. This was a class of mostly boys who had ongoing behavioral issues in school. A few weeks into my time with them we were to discuss the character trait of self-control. It just so happened that two of the boys were part of a lunchtime fight that day and provided us a perfect story to unpack. After some engaging conversation, I asked the students, “Knowing all of the negative consequences of choosing to enter a fight, why would you fight?” One of the boys didn’t hesitate in his answer. He said, “Because my mama told me, ‘You were born in da hood, you ain’t never gettin’ outa da hood, so you might as well learn how to survive in da hood.’”
This boy’s answer forever rattled my mental model and impacted the speed at which I now come to conclusions about people and their world. Adjusting our mental models happens on purpose. I could have chosen to tell the boy in our story that his mom was foolish and if he listened to her, his life would be a failure. The reality is, this mom had spoken from her life’s reality as well as that of previous generations of her family and friends. She couldn’t be faulted for what she was passing on to her son.
These mental models act as filters allowing some observations to enter while others bounce off unrecognized. Our observations are then translated into what we believe about a person and their story. What we believe about a person determines how we act toward that person. Those who know nothing but the story of middle class or wealth must be keenly aware of the presence of this filtering system when walking with our neighbors who know nothing but poverty’s story. Humility must be our launching pad of understanding, not arrogance. From this place of humility, relationships of mutual learning can be planted leading to growth for all engaged in the journey.
